


Not a crystal fem

by Minkey222



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Coming Out, Donuts, FtM Lars, FtM Steven, Greg is a good dad, Lars got top surgery, Lars needs a hug, Menstruation, Sadie is surprised, Steven needs a hug, Trans Lars (Steven Universe), Trans Male Character, Transgender, and also embarassed, binding, my little cinnamon roll, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 20:25:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6921985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minkey222/pseuds/Minkey222
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steven's not a girl, never was, never will be. So why is he like this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a crystal fem

**Author's Note:**

> My sweet cinnamon roll, I love you bb

He was going to tell her today. Well, at least he thought he was. In fact, if all went well all of his friends would know, and hopefully accept him. You see there was more to Steven than what met the eye. To those who saw him, he looked like a normal (as normal as Steven could be) teenage boy. But he had a secret only the crystal gems and his father knew. It started from the day he was born, but he truly understood it after a conversation with Pearl, one of the crystal gems.

  
_An 11-year-old Steven was sat in his bedroom watching TV with his friend, Amethyst._   
_"Steven! Will you come down here please?" Called Pearl from downstairs in the living room._   
_"Coming!" Steven yelled his reply. He walked down the stairs, with his television still playing for Amethyst. When he was down, Pearl gestured to an empty seat beside her, which Steven gladly took._   
_"Steven." Pearl started softly, thinking of a way to start to explain this to him. "Do you remember, a very long time ago, when you weren't very old, you told us that you wished to be a boy?" Steven nodded in agreement, he did remember that._   
_"Well, we misunderstood human concepts. As you know all gems are 'female' and take 'female' pronouns." Steven nodded along, Pearl continued. "We thought that if you wished to take on male pronouns, as you did, you could freely choose them. We didn't know that as a human, you are told what pronouns to use, you are not asked. But now we feel that you are old enough to understand what I am about to tell you, okay?"_   
_"Yeah, I think I understand" Steven agreed, confused._   
_"Here on earth, gender is assigned according to your body. A male body is different to that of a female body. If you had been born into an all human family, you would have been brought up as Sarah, not Steven." Pearl explained._   
_"I don't have to go back to being a girl, do I?" Steven asked, worriedly._   
_"No, no Steven, you don't have to do that if you don't want to. But what I am trying to explain is that here, on earth, there is something called being transgender. When you are transgender your given pronoun, conflicts with your chosen pronoun." Pearl finished._   
_"Oh... Am I transgender then?" Steven questioned the gem, looking up at her._   
_"Yes, Steven."_   
_"Is that a problem?" Steven had tears in his eyes, he didn't want to be a girl again._   
_"No, Steven, it is not a problem, but it will be difficult, you understand that." She comforted Steven who was now crying. He didn't want it to be difficult, he didn't want to be even more different than he already was._   
_"H-how will it be difficult?" Steven hiccupped._   
_"Well, as you get older you will start to change how a girl would, instead of how a boy would. This is what will happen to you, along with all other girls your age..."_

  
He could remember that conversation well like it had happened yesterday. Afterward, he wouldn't talk to anyone, which was unheard of for Steven, whilst everything sank in. He never told anybody. He didn't want to be a girl. After all of what Pearl had told him what would happen to him, he felt awful. He didn't want any of that to happen. But after a few days of watching TV with Amethyst, cuddling with Garnet and reassurance from Pearl, he felt back to normal. He even stayed with his dad for a few days. His dad made sure to look after him.  
Soon he forgot about how worried he was about everything that would soon happen to him, mainly because he was more focused on making his gem powers work. Then he met Connie, and the gems observed his crush on her, that had inspired and impromptu conversation about sexuality. He didn't tell Connie either, even though she was his best friend. When they fused, though, Steven was so excited. But through all of the excitement of having the ability to fuse, the little coil of stress and disappointment, slept in the pit of his stomach. Their fusion was a girl, even though Steven was the gem. All gems are 'female' swirled around in his head. He just wanted to be who he was.  
In all the excitement that was going on around him, he forgot all the worry and stress of growing up. That was until it started to happen. His body became curvier, but that was sorted when Pearl bought him a binder. When he put it on for the first time it was great. The only downside, though, was that he couldn't take his top off anymore, which meant no more swimming around anybody other than the gems and his dad.  
The other thing, however, he had dreaded since Pearl had told him about it, around 2 years ago. It distinguished him from being a boy like he was. He got his first period around Connie on the beach.

  
_The day was quickly rushing by. Steven and Connie had talked most of the day on the beach about random things. Steven felt a bit self to conscious, as it was really hot out that day, but he couldn't take his top off, not in public. He was sure that it was coming off the second he got home, though. Connie originally insisted that he didn't have to worry, but let up after Steven explained to her that he was 'just really body conscious' and that he didn't want to take it off. They had had a great time though and the sun was just overhead. They got up to have a dance like they had when they had fused for that first time._  
 _"Steven!" Connie exclaimed, "You're injured!" Steven looked down, and sure enough, where he had been sat down there was a patch of blood. Steven paled, then flushed. 'No! Not now. Not whilst I was having fun!' he screamed inside his head. He was silently wishing that it would never come and that he had truly become a boy, but no, his wishes went unanswered._  
 _"I-I'm sorry Connie, I-I need to g-go." Steven stammered out. "Ask my dad t-_ to t _-take you home"_  
 _"Sure Steven. Are you sure you're okay?" She asked, but Steven was already making his way back to the temple._  
 _"Y-yeah Connie, e-everything is f-fine. C-can you ask m-my dad to come b-back to the temple, p-please." And with that, he fled._  
 _"Bye Steven" Connie whispered to herself. 'I hope he's okay'._  
 _When Steven finally made it back to the temple he let the tears run. Pearl who had been in the living room was worried._  
 _"Steven? Are you alright?" She asked tentatively. Steven shook his head though the tears that were cascading down his cheeks. Pearl racked her brains for anything that could have caused Steven to act like this. She glanced down at him again, searching him for any injuries, when she noticed him squeezing one hand between his legs. Her eyes widened in realization. She quickly knelt softly next to Steven._  
 _"Is it your...?" She questioned, trailing off at the end. Steven nodded again and cried even harder. He almost jumped forwards and grabbed her into a hug._  
 _"Pearl, help me." He whimpered into her neck. She stroked his back comfortingly and helped him up and into the bathroom. She cleaned him up and helped him._  
 _"Did you ask your father, to come?" Pearl asked once Steven had gotten comfortable. He just nodded. As if he had been called Greg walk in the door._  
 _"Hey, Stu-ball what's wrong?" He asked as he walked over to Steven who was sat on the sofa. Pearl beckoned him over to the kitchen, to explain to him what had happened. Steven couldn't hear what Pearl was saying but at the end, his dad came over, he was slightly pale and hugged him._  
 _"How're you feeling, little man?" He asked slightly more softly that he would have normally. Steven just grunted, his eyes still puffy from the crying before._  
 _"How about we go get some doughnuts?" Greg asked and Steven's face lit up._  
 _"Yeah!" Steven exclaimed excitedly, and he jumped from the sofa._  
 _The both arrived at the big donut and entered. Steven wasn't feeling too good but still went up to the counter. Only Sadie was here today._  
 _"Oh hi, Steven, Mr. Universe, What can I get for you today?" Sadie asked cheerfully._  
 _"Just two of the usual please," Greg said. Bending down Greg asked, "Is that okay?"_  
 _"Can I have a chocolate one as well?" Steven asked quietly, whilst clutching his belly with one hand. Greg nodded and ordered the extra doughnut. Once they got them Steven didn't fancy walking around so they just ate at one of the tables inside. Once he had finished Steven was feeling a bit more like his usual self. He walked up to the counter where Sadie was still placed._  
 _"Hey Steven, are you okay?" She asked, concern obvious in her voice._  
 _"Yeah, I'm fine now." He smiled. "Hey, where's Lars?" Steven asked._  
 _"Oh, he's 'not well'. He's at home." She smiled and ruffled Steven's curly hair. Steven got stars in his eyes._  
 _"Oh. Do you think I could go over and spend some time with him whilst he gets better?" Steven wasn't feeling the best but maybe spending time with Lars would help both of them feel better._  
 _"Well, Steven. It's not quite like that. He's not ill, per say, it can't be healed." Sadie tried to explain._  
 _"Then what's wrong with him?" Steven was concerned for his friend._  
 _"Steven-" She started and exhaled "Do you know what transgender means?" She questioned. Steven almost laughed, but didn't and opted to nod._  
 _"Well, Lars is transgender and, well, he just had a surgery, to make him more of a boy." She continued. Steven got starry-eyed, he could make himself more of a boy? He nodded again. Sadie went to open her mouth again but Steven was off. He hurried over to his dad and explained it to him. He was going to talk to Lars, perhaps Lars could help him. As they left the big donut Sadie sighed. Steven always wanted to help everybody, but he couldn't understand what was going on with Lars._  
 _His dad dropped him at Lars' house and he bounced up the steps to his bedroom, which was marked with a 'stay out!' sign on the door. He opened the door and Lars groaned._  
 _"Ugh, mom! I said stay out of my room!" Lars groaned into his pillow._  
 _"Um, Lars?" Steven said uncertainly, suddenly feeling nervous and sick. If he wanted to ask Lars questions he would have to tell the truth. He gulped nervously._  
 _"Steven? What are you doing here? Ugh never mind, Sadie probably sent you. It doesn't matter, I don't care what she told you, I'm not sick just leave me alone." Lars continued to grunt into his pillow._  
 _"L-lars?" He asked, his voice wobbling, and his stomach aching._  
 _"Steven?" Lars replied, confused and worried at the tone in the usually happy boy's voice._  
 _"Are you really transgender too?" Steven asked, but quickly clamping his hands over his mouth after realizing what he had just said. "I-I mean, I think. Wait no I- hold on..." Steven stammered out something else but couldn't think straight, he suddenly regretted going to see Lars._  
 _Lars' mind was reeling. Steven had said 'too'. Was Steven transgender? No, it couldn't be, as long as he had known the kid he had been a boy._  
 _"Steven," Lars asked again._  
 _"Y-yeah?" He replied unsure of what Lars would say._  
 _"Are you transgender?" He asked, more softly than he had ever spoken to anyone._  
 _Steven, not trusting his voice just nodded and wiped his watering eye._  
 _"Oh." Was all Lars could say._  
 _"Is it true you can have surgeries to become more 'boy'?" Steven asked quietly._  
 _"Yeah. Yeah, it is true." Lars said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand whilst motioning him to come sit on his bed with the other._  
 _"Wow. I want to be a real boy. I hate being a girl." He said whilst laughing. Then suddenly gripped his stomach again._  
 _"Oh, are you okay Steven?" Lars said using his 'girl voice' as he would call it. Steven just nodded._  
 _"I got my first one today. I already hate it." Was all Steven needed to say for Lars to understand?_  
 _They spent a while just talking about themselves, they got to know each other well. They understood each other and became good friends during that one evening._  
 _"Please don't tell anybody else. I don't want them to know. I mean maybe you could tell Sadie, but no one else, okay?" Steven finished off before he got onto lions back. Dad had sent Lion to collect him._  
 _"Yeah, of course, Lil buddy." Lars gave him a smile and Steven was gone._  
 _Once he got back home and got ready for bed, he spent some time with the gems and ended up going to sleep with a smile on his face._

  
Lars was the first person he had ever come out to. Lars did tell Sadie and he told Steven about Sadie's face after she realized what she had said. Steven laughed a bit at that. But now was the time to tell Connie. He was just fed up with having to hide who he was all the time, having to ignore Connie and make excuses for a week every month, he just felt it was time to tell her.   
He picked up the phone and dialed Connie.  
"Hey Steven"  
"Hey Connie, I was wondering if you could come around I have something I need to tell you."  
"Okay, Steven."  
"See you later!"  
"Yeah! See you later!"  
When Connie arrived she was nervous and worried about what Steven might want to tell her. Her mind went to the time that Steven had said that he didn't want to be friends anymore, but quickly dismissed the thought.  
When Steven saw Connie he lit up. He felt so nervous. He was worried about how she would react but he had a suspicion she would accept him for who he was. They said their hello's and Steven took Connie's hand and lead her to their special place on the beach where it was private.  
"Um, Steven, what was it that you wanted to tell me?" Connie asked apprehensively.  
"Connie?" Steven said.  
"Yes, Steven?"  
"Do you know what transgender is?"


End file.
